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Post by Baking_Bud on Jan 19, 2003 15:09:19 GMT -6
There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there.
Her name was Clearly, and she was absolutely gorgeous!! He began to like her, and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But, he was a loyal man, and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned...
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone..."
;D Well, I thought this was cute! Hope you enjoyed too!
Always With My Best, Baking Bud
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Post by Chris in NM on Jan 19, 2003 20:54:40 GMT -6
Thank you, Baking Bud! This made my day! Just got home 1 hour ago from all day at work - since 10 am! Thank you again!! By the way, "this" is Mountain Standard Time. The time right now is 8 pm. Loooooong day! Was training a new bartender. Chris  |
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Post by Baking_Bud on Jan 19, 2003 21:35:09 GMT -6
Hi Chris!
WOW! You really did have a LONG day! Glad that my little ditty brought a smile to you. I love humor, and make sure that I get a daily dose of it. Luckily, my friends do too, so you just wouldn't believe what we find in our email boxes! I even woke up the other day and had a 'bug' sing to me. Now, THAT was a first! I have close to 3,000 gifs, so my personal email can pack quite an animated picture with it. Makes it fun! I have a few more jokes to help you feel a little better! Hope you enjoy. Baking Bud
The Efficiency Expert
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home!"
"Why?" asked somebody from the audience.
"Well, I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'
"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner. Now I do it in ten..."
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Post by Baking_Bud on Jan 19, 2003 21:38:59 GMT -6
An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and attached to her derriere was an oyster with a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!"  I could just SEE my husband expressing the same sentiment! My Best, Baking Bud! ;D
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Post by Baking_Bud on Jan 19, 2003 21:42:08 GMT -6
And to leave you with a smile!  A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you!" "We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you." When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her." "Which word?" the woman asked." "Love." The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven. About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," the woman told him. "Which word?" her husband asked. "Czechoslovakia." Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry.... there'll be H*ll to pay later! Get some rest! Always With My Best, Baking Bud |
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I could just SEE my husband expressing the same sentiment! My Best, Baking Bud! ;D